The Jahalia

Before we go any further, I probably need to explain what the fuck the Jāhiliyyah is, because it becomes important later.

Jāhiliyyah is an Arabic term commonly translated as “the Age of Ignorance.” Historically, it refers to pre-Islamic Arabia—the period before the revelation of the Qur’an and the establishment of Islam. But “ignorance” here doesn't simply mean stupid or uninformed. It refers more broadly to living without divine guidance.

Pre-Islamic Arabia was heavily tribal. Loyalty to your people could supersede justice, blood feuds could span generations, and the vulnerable could be exploited. Islam would condemn or prohibit practices associated with that world, including idolatry, gambling, intoxicants, usury and various forms of injustice. The Qur’an also condemns the killing of infant girls, traditionally associated with the Jāhiliyyah, although historians debate how widespread the practice actually was.

In modern religious conversation, someone's Jāhiliyyah can also refer to their life before Islam—before the Shahada, before learning the deen, before knowing what was halal and haram.

And baby, I had a before. I had lived. I had fucked. I had made decisions out of loneliness, love, curiosity, survival and sometimes because the shit seemed like a good idea at the time.

But when I took my Shahada, I believed I had found guidance through Allah.

That distinction becomes VERY important later.

     Thats what he called a group of men in his family. Now to be fair, I have no beef with these niggas but after their nephew/grandson told me all about them and their ugly truths, in the spirit of transparency that FrampCamp GoodMan wanted to facilitate online...I have to at least shed a lil bit of light onto the Sound Counsel for context because they played a reccurring role in his decision making about me, the women of his past and were his main inspiration for all things manly. As told to me by FrampCamp GoodMan, his sound counsel were men whose relationships with truth, loyalty, integrity and the law were complicated at best. I only know what he told me. Draw your own conclusions about what kind of guidance that produced.

     He ate their shit up though, so much so that he later regretted listening to them so much and not making his own choices after learning the truth about who they really were. What I can confirm independently is that though they may have had a plethora of anti-deen, pro jahalian things on their rap sheets, they DID NOT EAT PORK THO! Because that shit was not halal, ok!

Based on what FrampCamp GoodMan told me about her, I didn't like her. According to him, she beat him and his sister severely when they were children, though he believed he bore the brunt of it because he looked just like his father. He also told me that she had once beaten his sister so badly that it damaged her kidney.

As someone who grew up with an abusive parent myself, that was enough for me. I don't care who you are, I don't have much room in my heart for adults who hurt children.

According to him, the abuse didn't end with the physical violence. He described his mother as emotionally neglectful well into his teenage and adult years. He once told me that after an injury derailed his hopes of being drafted, her response was, "Welp, there goes my salon!" because he had planned to buy her one once he made it to the league.

Despite everything he shared with me, they maintained what I would describe as a functional but strained relationship. He often said that much of his resentment toward women traced back to his relationship with his mother. He also blamed her for exposing him to so much death, ...telling me it was 'his mother's fault' because she hadn't listened to his father, whom he described as a career criminal.

He didnt speak of her often but when he did it was mostly good. She was his confidant during their troubled upbringing. He taught her how to fight and she was completely enamored with her brother so much so that she wanted to be like him. According to him she wanted to be like him so much so that adopted his sexuality for a spell and that thought she grew out of that and eventually married a man. FrampCamp GoodMan told me that the man she married was a good guy but her sister was unsatisfied because he "wasnt like him". He mentioned on more than one occasion that both his mother and his sister were looking for elements of him in the men that they would date, and they would complain to him about it. 

     I found it a bit strange but seeing as though I was an only child I figured I simply didnt understand because my family unit was small, however what I can say is that I've never wanted any man I was ever sleeping with to be anything like any man I was related to. I also found it incredibly strange that for the her wedding highlight reel on IG she chose a photo of herself and FrampCamp GoodMan as the cover photo. Like to commemorate your day of holy matrimony, instead of a picture of her and her husband, her "look at this pic" of the day choice, was one of her and her brother? Small yet large things like that helped me understand what he meant when he would say "It's like they want to be with me"... but to each their own. Conversely, the other ways I would hear about his sister is in the moments were we were laughing. Apparently, he felt we had the same humor. If we were play fighting, he would tell me how strong I was. He'd say "youre strong, just like my sister. I taught her how to fight, y'all got the same size and shape. I'm telling you if you give me 6 months to train you, you can be a fighter". 

    We were from the same city and went to rival high schools. In high school, I had the biggest crush on one of the most popular football players. At that time I was the insecure, virgin with glasses and crooked teeth. Cliche after school special type shit okay. My crush was FUH.KING everything and knew I wasnt (This is not speculation, that nigga told me everything after we were grown, lil virgin me was not equipped for the shit he was on 🤣.) He considered me a good girl, held me in the friend space and for that reason we were able to be cool after school. I moved out the city after graduation but was back in time for our 10 year reunion. I was no longer a virgin and no longer insecure, I had contacts in and my smile was on 10. We seen each other and on some Kanye shit, we owed each other sex...and we had that, couple times over a couple years...causal, friendly, no strings. However, his mom and dad had always been fond me of me and his dad wanted him to be with me but it wasnt meant to be.

    FrampCamp GoodMan and this guy ran in the same circle due to football and the fact that they each had a close relationship with the same NFL Player. I was aware of that coming into the relationship space with FrampCamp GoodMan, and because a love with no lies was my desire I told him so that he can make an informed decision. He asked me questions about it, if I had feelings for him, the whole 9 and I explained it to him just as I did you. It was just sex. 

     Next character in the game was this "cousin" who wasnt his real cousin, but "cousins" because of their gang ties. However according to FrampCamp GoodMan, this "cousin" "aint really from the hood cuz, cuz cut grew up in the ie, he just go so hard cuz he got something to prove and cuz of who is daddy is" -FrampCamp GoodMan

   One day say back in like 2020, before meeting FrampCamp GoodMan officially, I was walking my dog. I had a frenchie at the time. A car drives down the street, pulls over, compliments me on my dog. The man and I had a brief convo about dogs, he complimented me on my beauty and said he would really love to take me to dinner. At the time I was involved in another fucked up shituation that I was trying to let go of, and I like that he stated the intention for getting my number so I gave it to him. Silly I know but if y'all haven't learned that Im dumb when it comes to men by now, brace yourself because it only gets worse. Anywho...he was calling me and it was cool until one time I didnt answer and he sent me a picture of him instead. Idk that just rubbed me the wrong way so I fell back plus I was still on an emotional rollercoaster with an imp of a man. I never did anything with this cousin other than follow him on ig. He was a money getter and real flashy bout it. After I released myself from the shackles I was in, I reached out to see if the dinner offer still stood. Ha! he was a cocky nigga, he said he came correct the first time and I played in his face, and if I wanted parts now Id have to give him some pussy first and he'd decide if it were worth dinner.

I respectfully declined that offer.

     I didnt know that they "related" but one day I saw the "cousin" posted a pic of him and FrampCamp GoodMan, so that let me know that they were acquantances of some sort...so when I was telling him everything I did'nt leave this interaction out either...cuz apparently Im a honest ho.

Remember these characters, they come back around.